Bad Writing Advice from The Worst Muse

fdBbG5EFMy sister recently introduced me to the genius that is @WorstMuse. This friendly muse is full of unhelpful advice that will keep you on your toes, force you to laugh atĀ almost every movie you’ve seen lately, and laugh at the unfortunate cliches in your own writing. Inspire yourself to break the mold and dig a little deeper in your own creative mind with such helpful reminders as:

  • Why *wouldn’t* the mature females of a sapient non-mammalian species have killer racks?

  • Have you considered adding a creepy kid who’s too smart for their age?

  • You never know what the latest trend will be, so make sure to include every single type of supernatural creature you have ever heard of.

  • You don’t need an editor! You don’t need anyone!

  • When you introduce a new female supporting character, take a moment to clarify whether your protagonist would “tap that.”

  • You’re right. Your friends’ inside jokes will DEFINITELY go over great with a larger audience.

  • Don’t think of it as a novel [or script]. Think of it as a chance to retroactively win every argument you have ever walked away from.

  • Vampires, but maybe, like, they feelĀ bad about it?

  • Have another drink.

  • Africa’s basically one really big country, right?

  • Nothing’s edgier than casual misogyny.

  • For historical verisimilitude, replace every “you” with “thee” or “thou.”

  • What if the main character were–get this–A WRITER?

FindĀ more amazing non-advice onĀ Twitter. And if you aren’t already, follow us too!

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